Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Losing My Religion
You’ll have to excuse me for seeing myself as one of the last reasonable people on Earth but I’m afraid that’s exactly what I am. I’ve come to hate discussing politics because it’s rare I can find someone with an opinion of their own, and not some piece of idiocy they repeat from a diatribe by Olberman on MSN or Beck on FOX.
It’s simply stunning to me how the marketing arms of the two parties have invaded the consciousness of the masses. When you talk politics, the buzzwords, catchphrases and talking points are spouted out like a prayer of the Almighty Church of My Side. Not only have Church and State mingled, mixed, spawned, the opposing sides have become religions unto themselves.
Pundits are preachers and prophets, they get the message to the masses and their word is gospel. Hallelujah! Go in peace to love and serve the party with which you affiliate! Each side is the benevolent, just and righteous deity to its people and the other side every bit a devil from the pits of hell.
Where is the middle ground? How can so few not be polarized by the us or them mentality of these competing congregations? I made a comment today that was a negative comment about our President, Mr. Obama and it draws the ire of the flock from Our Lady of the Left even though the comment itself wasn’t inflammatory. And immediately, I felt the dirty hands of the parishioners from the Fellowship of the Right pulling and patting and petting me, trying to draw me in, to make me one of theirs.
My comment though, was fair and balanced. It was a criticism of Obama that did not undermine him, or demean him. It was simply an opinion. It was followed up by another that was in support of him. The Fellowship of the Right recoiled from me. The people from Our Lady of the Left kept their distance too. They didn’t know what to make of me. I was of both and of neither. Warily, they backed away from me. I must be crazy.
It may seem a silly little thing, but more and more, we are organizing ourselves into two separate groups. We are blue and red, left and right, one or the other. Each side has a strict with us or against us philosophy. Those of us who are in the middle are enemies to both. Does no one recognize the danger of our behavior? In a world where we readily admit there is more gray than black or white—our opinions on governing ourselves are all black, or all white with nothing in between.
The prophets speak nightly of fire and brimstone, of the end times, of how the other side is evil and is trying to manipulate and destroy. They speak of Revelations. They tell you what to think and to fear anything the other side says—they only seek to tempt you with the apple they offer.
They are preparing for a holy war. Each wants to destroy the other. Each is secure in the knowledge that they alone know best, that their way alone will save us. Let us pray: Obama is the devil and he seeks to infect us with the plague of socialism. Let us pray: I am the hope and the truth and the change.
I feel so alone. My only company is common sense, compromise and those who don’t care one way or the other. I look to each side and see the holy warriors firmly entrenched and when they finally do battle, I’ll be the first to go.
The end is neigh. Armageddon is upon us. Pray to your pundit that your side will prevail. I was of the Church of America, but my god died a long time ago. Blessed be the righteous, for they shall inherit the earth.
It’s simply stunning to me how the marketing arms of the two parties have invaded the consciousness of the masses. When you talk politics, the buzzwords, catchphrases and talking points are spouted out like a prayer of the Almighty Church of My Side. Not only have Church and State mingled, mixed, spawned, the opposing sides have become religions unto themselves.
Pundits are preachers and prophets, they get the message to the masses and their word is gospel. Hallelujah! Go in peace to love and serve the party with which you affiliate! Each side is the benevolent, just and righteous deity to its people and the other side every bit a devil from the pits of hell.
Where is the middle ground? How can so few not be polarized by the us or them mentality of these competing congregations? I made a comment today that was a negative comment about our President, Mr. Obama and it draws the ire of the flock from Our Lady of the Left even though the comment itself wasn’t inflammatory. And immediately, I felt the dirty hands of the parishioners from the Fellowship of the Right pulling and patting and petting me, trying to draw me in, to make me one of theirs.
My comment though, was fair and balanced. It was a criticism of Obama that did not undermine him, or demean him. It was simply an opinion. It was followed up by another that was in support of him. The Fellowship of the Right recoiled from me. The people from Our Lady of the Left kept their distance too. They didn’t know what to make of me. I was of both and of neither. Warily, they backed away from me. I must be crazy.
It may seem a silly little thing, but more and more, we are organizing ourselves into two separate groups. We are blue and red, left and right, one or the other. Each side has a strict with us or against us philosophy. Those of us who are in the middle are enemies to both. Does no one recognize the danger of our behavior? In a world where we readily admit there is more gray than black or white—our opinions on governing ourselves are all black, or all white with nothing in between.
The prophets speak nightly of fire and brimstone, of the end times, of how the other side is evil and is trying to manipulate and destroy. They speak of Revelations. They tell you what to think and to fear anything the other side says—they only seek to tempt you with the apple they offer.
They are preparing for a holy war. Each wants to destroy the other. Each is secure in the knowledge that they alone know best, that their way alone will save us. Let us pray: Obama is the devil and he seeks to infect us with the plague of socialism. Let us pray: I am the hope and the truth and the change.
I feel so alone. My only company is common sense, compromise and those who don’t care one way or the other. I look to each side and see the holy warriors firmly entrenched and when they finally do battle, I’ll be the first to go.
The end is neigh. Armageddon is upon us. Pray to your pundit that your side will prevail. I was of the Church of America, but my god died a long time ago. Blessed be the righteous, for they shall inherit the earth.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Scientology vs. France
The Church of Scientology is on trial for fraud in France. Apparently, a woman who said she paid the church more than $34,590 for lessons, books, drugs and an "electrometre," a gadget which the church says can measure a person's mental state got herself all up in arms over none of it working.
I feel the need to write on the subject as quickly as possible, because I’m sure the French will be surrendering promptly, but I have some major problems with Scientology and will take the opportunity to throw them under the bus.
My issues with Scientology are two-fold. There is the glaring problem I like to call The Katie Holmes Conundrum and then there is the whole thing where the religion is based on a science fiction (fiction meaning “made up”) book.
The first issue, and one that is a bit personal to me, is the Katie Holmes Conundrum. You see, Katie was destined to be the mother of my children until the Scientologist’s personal messiah-like figure, Tom Cruise, brainwashed her and turned her into a zombie.
Now, I have to take umbrage with both Maverick and his church over this offense. Sure, it’s true that I’d never met Katie Holmes, that my prospects for ever meeting her were dim at best and that even if we had somehow met I have to acknowledge that it is possible, however unlikely, that she could have been immune to my boyish charm, but who are kidding here? Joey Potter was destined to be mine, and Tom Cruise stole her from me!
And that alone, I could deal with. I’ve had girls stolen from me before (not really, but they say it helps your audience connect if you humanize yourself). It isn’t the theft itself that pisses me off as much as it’s the whole turning her into a zombie-like stepford wife. I like my gals a little spunky and it’s like he put a tap in her and drained all the spunk out. I’m devastated. Not only can I not have her now, but I don’t even want her which is a bit saddening really. So obviously, for that reason alone I’m justified in my hatred of Scientology.
But even before Maverick stole Katie away from me, I found myself to be a little bit incredulous toward this whack-job religion. It’s not so much that they based a religion on a science fiction book as it is which science fiction book they chose.
I mean, if you’re going to be a certified loon and worship characters from a work of science fiction, at least pick the best available work out there! I mean, if Tom Cruise and Vincent Vega decided to be Jedi, I’d still think they were completely batshit, but at least I’d think they were batshit in a good way.
I mean, the people that take StarWars too seriously (and okay, I may or may not be on the fringe of that) are a bit nuts, but at least they are nuts in support of the greatest movie of all time, not some crackpot fringe book about aliens that don’t even have light sabers! I mean, the Force is something you can believe in, at least it’s based on an amalgamation of the beliefs of the worlds major religions. Scientology, on the other hand, is a certified, drink the kool-aid and board the mothership refuge for people who were previously only united in their mastery of creating cardboard cutouts to wear proclaiming that the end was near.
It’s just simply ridiculous that Scientology even exists and I know this case isn’t going to be in the courts for long, the French will be pulling down their pants, bending over and begging Scientology to be gentle and use lube in less than a week, but while it is, before us and in the news, I’d be remiss if I didn’t speak out against it!
And Katie, if you’re still allowed to read and somehow come across this piece, if you can still comprehend the words and this happens to spark some sort of epiphany that helps you break free of the lock this quack religion has over you, before you completely overcome your brainwashing, it may not be a bad idea to repeat the following mantra until it is the very core of your being.
“Chubby guys wearing Cubs hats rule! I want one of those!”
That is all
I feel the need to write on the subject as quickly as possible, because I’m sure the French will be surrendering promptly, but I have some major problems with Scientology and will take the opportunity to throw them under the bus.
My issues with Scientology are two-fold. There is the glaring problem I like to call The Katie Holmes Conundrum and then there is the whole thing where the religion is based on a science fiction (fiction meaning “made up”) book.
The first issue, and one that is a bit personal to me, is the Katie Holmes Conundrum. You see, Katie was destined to be the mother of my children until the Scientologist’s personal messiah-like figure, Tom Cruise, brainwashed her and turned her into a zombie.
Now, I have to take umbrage with both Maverick and his church over this offense. Sure, it’s true that I’d never met Katie Holmes, that my prospects for ever meeting her were dim at best and that even if we had somehow met I have to acknowledge that it is possible, however unlikely, that she could have been immune to my boyish charm, but who are kidding here? Joey Potter was destined to be mine, and Tom Cruise stole her from me!
And that alone, I could deal with. I’ve had girls stolen from me before (not really, but they say it helps your audience connect if you humanize yourself). It isn’t the theft itself that pisses me off as much as it’s the whole turning her into a zombie-like stepford wife. I like my gals a little spunky and it’s like he put a tap in her and drained all the spunk out. I’m devastated. Not only can I not have her now, but I don’t even want her which is a bit saddening really. So obviously, for that reason alone I’m justified in my hatred of Scientology.
But even before Maverick stole Katie away from me, I found myself to be a little bit incredulous toward this whack-job religion. It’s not so much that they based a religion on a science fiction book as it is which science fiction book they chose.
I mean, if you’re going to be a certified loon and worship characters from a work of science fiction, at least pick the best available work out there! I mean, if Tom Cruise and Vincent Vega decided to be Jedi, I’d still think they were completely batshit, but at least I’d think they were batshit in a good way.
I mean, the people that take StarWars too seriously (and okay, I may or may not be on the fringe of that) are a bit nuts, but at least they are nuts in support of the greatest movie of all time, not some crackpot fringe book about aliens that don’t even have light sabers! I mean, the Force is something you can believe in, at least it’s based on an amalgamation of the beliefs of the worlds major religions. Scientology, on the other hand, is a certified, drink the kool-aid and board the mothership refuge for people who were previously only united in their mastery of creating cardboard cutouts to wear proclaiming that the end was near.
It’s just simply ridiculous that Scientology even exists and I know this case isn’t going to be in the courts for long, the French will be pulling down their pants, bending over and begging Scientology to be gentle and use lube in less than a week, but while it is, before us and in the news, I’d be remiss if I didn’t speak out against it!
And Katie, if you’re still allowed to read and somehow come across this piece, if you can still comprehend the words and this happens to spark some sort of epiphany that helps you break free of the lock this quack religion has over you, before you completely overcome your brainwashing, it may not be a bad idea to repeat the following mantra until it is the very core of your being.
“Chubby guys wearing Cubs hats rule! I want one of those!”
That is all
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