Grand Old Party Poopers

After watching the new President, Barack Obama, give his address to the nation tonight, I was set to go to bed without comment. Then there was the Republican Response and…

Well, I’m sorry, but I just can’t help myself. Oh, how the mighty have fallen and that chaos that is now the Republican Party has become a sad, sad mess. I realize all too well the irony of someone from Illinois criticizing the governor of anyone else’s state, but wow Louisanna! Your governor talks like someone who just finished his Hooked on Phonics course study!

And the Republican Response he gave was less of a response than it certainly was some camera time for an up and comer in the New Grand Old Party. It seems that in the huddle that must have occurred after President Obama was elected, the consensus must have been this: WE NEED SOME BROWN PEOPLE! DO WE HAVE ANY BROWN PEOPLE? SURELY WE HAVE TO HAVE A BROWN GUY OUT THERE SOMEWHERE!!!!

Sure enough, they found a brown guy to be the Republican Chairman and now they have a brown guy giving the Republican Response after President Obama’s speech today. This particular brown guy is Governor Robert Jindal and he’s the Hindu-reformed-to-Catholicism kind of brown. The result of the “do we have a brown guy” huddle produced some sad results indeed. Nothing against former Hindus, but I just don’t see a huge voting swing based on the Hindu vote in 2012. Still, the Repubs needed to show some diversity and some youth. They decided they needed to trot out a pony who wasn’t a pasty white guy. They had bupkiss in Congress, and had to settle for Jindal.

And what a sad choice it was too! Governor Jindal stepped up to the podium and told us about how Obama’s big government approach was a disaster waiting to happen and even had the nerve to compare it to the idiotic government response to Hurricane Katrina. (I believe the kids at this point do something called *facepalm*)

It takes balls to stand up in front of America and liken the then Republican-controlled government’s poor response to Katrina, to the now Democrat-controlled government’s plan to bail out the economy that the Repubs helped drive into the ground. I was left with my mouth hanging open. Governor Jindal, it must take a forklift to help you carry those cojones around sir!

I am not a believer in big government myself, but after eight years of Republican power in the executive branch, paired with 6 of those years during which there was Republican power in the legislative branch and the colossal failure that resulted, I’m ready to give another idea a chance. I’m willing to step back and admit that less, less, less, less, less government is not the key to fixing the economy as it stands today. Governor Jindal, on one hand apologized for that Republican clusterfuck, and in the very next breath, told you to trust the Republicans in Congress (most of whom are leftovers from the Bush years). I believe at this point, the kids are doing what they would call *headdesk*

Perhaps the greatest insult is that Governor Jindal’s state of Louisiana was offered $3.8 billion dollars of the recovery plan money. Governor Jindal accepted $3.7 billion of it. For those of you who are slow at math, like me, that’s just $1 million he’s turning down. He’s standing up in front of the country and telling everyone how bad Obama’s plan is and then taking almost all of the money his state is being offered? That smacks of hypocrisy to me.

Is this truly the great brown hope of the new, exciting, cutting edge, hip and cool Republican Party? If it is, I’m sad to say that Obama could let trained monkeys run the country for the rest of his term and still win re-election in 2012. I say this not because I want to see President Obama out, but because our government is at it’s best when both parties are full of intelligent and capable leaders.

The Grand Old Party is trying to change it’s image. They see that the Democrats got a young, charismatic, brown guy elected and have started trotting out their own. It strikes me that they prioritize the young, charismatic and brown above the capable and intelligent. Sadly, Governor Jindal was the best they could do. He came off like a buffoon. Trust me. I’m from Illinois. I know what a buffoon governor looks and sounds like.